Q-Eng

My husband and I were watching the news last night. It was about a problem involving international couples, Japanese women and American men. The news said, “the mother is abducting her child to Japan.”It seems like more than 100 American dads are claiming that they can’t see their son or daughter.

This is the link : Nightline: American Children Kidnapped and Taken to Japan 2/16/2011

One guy in the show said something like “It’s a black-hole of abduction to Japan which no child will never return.” The news was showing the dads are crying. I feel bad that they can’t see their son or daughter. Things turned out badly for them. However, the show really didn’t talk about why this happened. I also noticed he said “no child will ever return,” but he didn’t say “no wife will ever return.” Does he even care about his wife?

I wonder what people think when they watch this. I feel like the show is taking a side and making Japanese girls look bad. I really don’t know what happened to them. I don’t take anyone’s side. It’s about marriage. If there are any problems between them, they both need to talk about the problems and find the best way for them. I don’t know why the government is involved in the marriage matter.

I met a Japanese girl a year ago. She married an American and has two children. Her life in America has been so tough and she can’t imagine to live here forever. However, her husband bought a house here and she is literally stuck here. I can understand her husband’s need to make money, and maybe he wants to settle. However, she is suffering living here. She told me that she decided to go back to Japan and live there. I asked what about the marriage and her two sons? She said she doesn’t know what’s gonna happen, but she just can’t live here. She said she will take her sons if they want to come with her. In this case, she didn’t decide to be a kidnapper, but I feel so bad for her. I feel bad for her husband too. However, I don’t know the whole story of their life.

You might think “what is your problem?” or “How come they couldn’t talk and solve it?” It’s not that easy. First of all, I have seen many Japanese who live in America, but they can’t speak English well. They really need help and they are so unsatisfied in their lives. Maybe they are thinking “I’m just gonna kill myself.”

When I was watching that show, I felt so upset. I thought instead of making their situation more complicated, by including the FBI or government, we should talk about the issue of international marriage. These problems happened for some reason. It’s their problems. In that kind of circumstance, why do people and society take a side? They are desperate for help. They don’t know what to do. They may not think straight about anything.

Since I’m in the same situation, I can imagine how tough it could be to live in another country.The whole time I spent here has been such an experience. I had enjoyed some times, but I suffered a lot of times. At least, as the time goes by, my husband understood about this better and tried to help me as much as possible. I really appreciate him and, also, I’m proud of myself that I didn’t give up on talking to him about my true feeling. Of course, we argue about things since we have different cultures and he is a guy and I’m a girl, you know. Haha.

I just can’t stop wishing us, an international couple, to be happily ever after.

- Miho