Q-Eng

Good afternoon, fellow Toastmasters.
Christmas is just around the corner!
Have you already asked Santa for a Christmas present?
Of course, I've done that and I’m sure that I will get just what I've asked for, and this happens year after year.
It may seem hard to believe, but it wouldn't if you only knew my little secret. You see, the truth is, I am my own private Santa Claus.
Incidentally, did you know that there are official Santa Clauses all over the world? They are certified by the Greenland International Santa Claus Association .
Today, I would like to share with you on how you can become an official Santa Claus.
To become a Santa Claus, you first have to meet four conditions: You must
be married
have your own child
have experience as a Santa Claus
have the proper body--at least 120 Kg, including costumes and gear
If you fit the bill, you can then apply for the contest.
The contest is held at Bakken Park in Copenhagen, Denmark, in July!
The contest starts from the time you leave your house. Candidates must put on the full Santa costume and wear it all the way to the contest venue, whether on the bus, train or airplane. It must even be worn when going through security check at the airport.
When you get to the park, you go through a physical fitness competition, in which you sprint 50 meters, climb a 2.8m high chimney, get out of a fireplace, and then put a present underneath a Christmas tree. You eat 6 cookies and down 1 carton of milk. Then, you go back up the chimney and run back 50 meters to the finish line, all under 2 minutes!
Only two of all the candidates can progress to the second stage, an interview held by former Santa Clauses.
After that, the candidates undergo an appearance test while reciting aloud the Santa Claus oath, written in ancient writing, solely with the words, "Ho","Ho","Ho," until all of the elders say, "OK".
If all of them are in agreement, they approve you as a newly-certified Santa Claus.
So, what do you think? Are you interested in becoming a Santa Claus? Merry Christmas!

これは、トーストマスターズの（いわば）前座、A thought for the day 用にしゃべったスピーチの原稿です。偶然、この題材でスピーチトレーニングを受けることができ、ラッキーでした。
そのトレーニングでは、このスピーチで一番のポイントは『Ho Ho Ho』だよ、と言われ、がんばってしゃべったのですが、、、、これはいまいち受けませんでした。多分、他のメンバーの人たちは（平均的日本人）、サンタクロースは「Ho Ho Ho」しかしゃべらない、ということを知らなかったのではないか、と思います。Audienceによって、題材は変えたほうがいいのかなあ。
Hindsight is 20/20です。