Q-Eng

StPaulさん
Thank you for your comment. I spent much time for this journal and I was very exhausted. It's very difficult to explain Japanese culture, food and especially current young girls' conversation whose atmosphere is unique.

kumonopanya のコメント：
おはぎは四季によって呼び名が変わりますよね、
夏や冬にも呼び名が変わります。
春の「ぼたもち」
夏の「夜船」
秋の「おはぎ」
冬の「北窓」

Makitys のコメント：
とっても understandable な英文だと思います。

あーすさん本当にがんばってますね！



たぶんですが　＾＾；

a と the と 単・複　の使い分けに注意してみると良いかなと思います。

> Daifuku aren't wrapped in the leaves.

→Daifuku aren't wrapped in leaves

　

> Ohagi is oval glutinous rice cake(mochi)

→ Ohagi is an oval ..

　

> Sakuramochi (桜餅 ) is thinly baked pink pancake

→ Sakuramochi is a ..

　

> a festival for the young girls

→ a festival for young girls

　

> a festival for the young boys

→ a festival for young boys

　

a と the の使い分けは、完全にできるだけでも英語ができる人と言えるくらい日本人にとって難しいです。（正直私もよく間違えます．．．^^;）

　

会話文を書く事も、私にとっては本当に難しいです。non-native だとしばしば不自然な文になりがちだからです。よく日本文の添削をしていても、そう思います。きっとドラマなどをたくさん見てると良いんでしょうね！

masamaisenatu のコメント：
earthさん

連休はいかがお過ごしでしたか？

aとthe 単数、複数…。はぁぁぁ（ため息）難しいのですね（；；）

でも、すごーく英語できる方が「難しい」と言っているのを聞くと安心

してしまう私…。（＾＾；）

SujiTaro のコメント：
素直な感想です。
英文の会話の部分だけ読んでも女子高生の会話だと分かるのでスゴイなあと思いました。　(^O^;;

yuuta のコメント：
Lang-8ってサイトを利用すると、英文をネイティブが添削してくれますよ、

http://lang-8.com/

Makitys のコメント：
Lang-8 は私もお勧めです。ここはサイトの作り上修正しにくいですから。

十分 understandable な英文でも、大体かなりの修正点が指摘されます。

（non-native の英文って、大体はそんなものです。）

　

ただ、修正点の丁寧さや正確さは人によりますがね。

＞Yesterday I witnessed this occurrence at a supermarket, Ito-Yokad.

Perfect!

>There were two young girls seemed high school students, and they were talking together in front of the shelf which many packs of Kashiwa-mochi were put on.

Two young girls, who seemed to be high school students, were talking together in front of a shelf holding many packs of Kashiwa-mochi.

>girl A: “Oh, Ohagi are here! They look yummy. I want to eat them.”
girl A: “Oh, they have Ohagi! They look yummy. I want some.”

>girl B: “Um? You’re wrong! They aren’t Ohagi, but Daifuku.”
girl B: “Huh? You’re wrong! Those aren’t Ohagi, they're Daifuku.”

>A: "No! It's you who are mistaken! Daifuku aren't wrapped in the leaves."
A: "No! You're wrong. Daifuku aren't wrapped in leaves."

>B: "You're kidding! They aren't absolutely Ohagi!"
B: "You're kidding! They absolutely aren't Ohagi!"

>A: "Well, what are they?"
Perfect.

>B: "They are wrapped in leaves, so ....I guess they must be Sakura-mochi."
Perfect.

>A: "......Wait. Their name on the pack is.....'Kishiro-mochi'."
A: "......Wait. The name on the package is.....'Kishiro-mochi'."

>B: " They are 'Kishiro-mochi', I see. Um? Oh, you can read the Kanji, mochi, can't you? You're great!"
B: " They are 'Kishiro-mochi', I see. Hey, you can read the Kanji, mochi, can't you? Impressive!"

>Yes, I agree with B-chan. A-chan, you are great to read the difficult kanji, mochi. But why on earth can’t you read the easier one, kashiwa?
Yes, I agree with B-chan. A-chan, it's great you can read the difficult kanji, mochi. But why on earth can’t you read the easier one, kashiwa?


earthさん、some of the things I changed were correct, but I was trying to make it sound more natural.

For example, "It's you who are mistaken!" is excellent English, but it sounds a bit formal. I can easily imagine this language in a British novel or on the Senate floor in Washington, D.C., but high school girls are more likely to say "No, *you're* wrong."

I'll give more corrections separately.

By the way, Makitysさん's corrections are all completely correct. She clearly has an excellent command of particles in English, something that challenges all foreign learners.


Some more careful explanation of my corrections:

>There were two young girls seemed high school students, and they were talking together

There is no grammatical error above, but it is more wordy than necessary, so I made it shorter.

Two young girls, who seemed to be high school students, were talking together

>in front of the shelf which many packs of Kashiwa-mochi were put on.

This is the first time you referred to this shelf, ... you are introducing this shelf here, so it should be "a shelf". You can say "on which many packs of Kashiwa-mochi had been put." Again, it's less wordy to say "holding many packs...", or simply "a shelf with many packs of".

Perhaps I should have changed "packs" to "packages" here. We say "a pack of cigarettes", "a pack of diapers",... but you can also use "a package of cigarettes", etc. Especially when using the word alone, "packages" may sound slightly better. But this is a small thing.

>girl A: “Oh, Ohagi are here! They look yummy. I want to eat them.”
girl A: “Oh, they have Ohagi! They look yummy. I want some.”

When we are shopping in a store, in a catalog, or on the internet, we often use the phrase "They have." "When you go to the store, see if they have any tomatoes." "They didn't have the book I wanted, so I'll order it on Amazon." Similarly, when we ask a store clerk for an item, we might say "Do you have any avocados today?" (as well as "Are there any avocados?")

kumonopanyaさん

そうですね。いろいろな呼び方があるようで、面白いですよね。

Mikitysさん

いつもコメントありがとうございます。

書きながら、ここは冠詞はいらないかな、a　かな、the かなと思うのですが、きちんと調べないで書くからいけないんですよね。もう一度Forestを読んでみます。




yuutaさん

Mikitysさん

Lang-8は、皆さんのお薦めのサイトなので、先日登録して投稿してみました。まだ使い方が良くわかりませんが、これからも少しずつ利用しようと思います。

ありがとうございます。

masamaisenatsuさん

冠詞って私たちが学校で習ったより、ずっと大切で難しいですよね。一緒に頑張りましょう。




SujiTaro にゃんこさん

いつもコメントありがとうございます。なにか、褒めてくださっていて、恥ずかしいです。

どういう言葉が丁寧で、どういう言葉が女子高生が使いそうか、私には英語では全く分かりません。そういうことがわかって書けるようになりたいです。

anyaさん

本当にいつも丁寧なアドバイスをくださって、ありがとうございます。

anyaさんのおかげで、英語を書くのが楽しくなりました。（書くのに大変苦しんでいますが。）

StPaul のコメント：
earth-rise san,



冠詞で最も難しいのは、冠詞が要るか要らないかです。



冠詞についての本を読みましたが、

non native English speakerが１００％　マスターするのは可なり難しく、

native English speaker に取っても　何故かを説明するのはそう簡単ではありません。



もし機会が有れば　誰か周りの日本人で、　英語が出来るといわれている人の話す英語を聞いてみて下さい。殆ど冠詞はつけていません。

書く時は時間が有りある程度分かります。



冠詞を気にするようになると、レベルの高い英語学習者だと思います。



Enjoy writing English,

my dear friend.



St. Paul

>There were two young girls seemed high school students, and they were talking together

>There is no grammatical error above, but it is more wordy than necessary, so I made it shorter.

Oops! I need to correct what I said here. "two young girls seemed high school students" is not grammatically correct. It needs to be "two young girls who seemed to be high school students". Other possibilities are:
"two young girls, seemingly high school students," or "two young girls, apparently high school students".

StPaul のコメント：
earth-rise san,



色々勉強になりますね、冠詞、時制、前置詞は永遠の美女の如く、

追えばするりと逃げ、また近づいたりします。

日本語と英語の根本的な違いが壁ですから、

面白いと思えば英語が楽しくなります。



ふと思い浮かんだのが、sky です　これを　”そら”　と覚えると、

複数形はあり得ないと思いますが、英語は複数でも使います。

知っている人は多くありません。



From ALC online dictionary.



skies



変化形 : 《単》sky

イディオムやフレーズ : to the skies

Skies will be overcast this morning with intermittent rain before evening in western Japan as a low pressure system approaches from the continent.In northern Japan, cloud cover will increase during the afternoon.

今日の天気。西日本では、朝方は曇り空で、大陸からの低気圧配置が近づくのに伴い、夕方前に一時雨になるでしょう。北日本では午後、さらに雲が広がるでしょう。◆天気予報

Blue Skies

【映画】

ブルー・スカイ◆米1946《監督》スチュアート・ハイスラー《出演》ビング・クロスビー、フレッド・アステア

Fatal Skies

【映画】

スカイ・ウォリアーズ◆米1990

leaden skies

鉛色｛なまりいろ｝の空、どんよりした空

Open Skies

オープン・スカイズ、領空自由査察

rainy skies

雨空｛あまぞら｝





St. Paul

Continuing...

>Ohagi, Daifuku, Sakura-mochi, and Kashiwa-mochi are Japanese traditional confectionaries. Ohagi and Daifuku are made from glutinous rice(餅米), pounded into paste and molded into oval or round shape.
Sakura-mochi and Kashiwa-mochi are made from rice powder.

That should be "oval or round shapes" or "an oval or round shape". I think you mean "rice flour" instead of "rice powder". Otherwise, perfect.

>Ohagi is oval glutinous rice cake(mochi) covered with An（餡） made of sweet azuki paste.
Ohagi is an oval glutinous rice cake(mochi) covered with An（餡）which is a sweet paste made from azuki beans.

>Ohagi’s mochi is halfway pounded, so the statement is called “han-goroshi”, that means “half-killed”.
The mochi used for Ohagi is only halfway pounded, which is referred to as “han-goroshi”, meaning “half-killed”.

>Some kinds of Ohagi have azuki paste in them and their outside are covered with Kinako(soy flour), sesami, or sweet soy paste.
Some kinds of Ohagi have azuki paste in them and their outsides are covered with Kinako(soy flour), sesami, or sweet soy paste.

( わ〜！　　美味しそう！　茶道の稽古の思い出が浮かんで来て耐えません！）

＞Ohagi is sometimes called “Bota-mochi” in spring, and “Ohagi” in fall, but there are some theories about these names.

Hmm. I think this sentence may be perfect as written. Some speakers may prefer to use "the spring" and "the fall".

もう、お腹すいてたまらないので、あとで続けます。　

>While Daifuku is made of smooth glutinous rice cake stuffed with An,azuki paste.　

I'm not sure how you mean 一方 in this sentence. I think you translated it "While", which is fine, but usually we say "While A, also B." I don't know what the B is in this context. Unless A is 大福は滑らかな餅でできていて and B is 中に小豆餡が入っている ? In which case you might say, While the outside of Daifuku is a smooth glutinous rice cake, the inside is stuffed with azuki paste.

>When we eat daifuku-mochi, we become full, and don’t feel hungry soon, so it was at first called “daifuku-mochi(full stomach mochi 大腹餅)”,and in time the letters of its name changed to lucky ones, “daifuku-mochi(big fortune mochi　大福餅).

My parrot is calling me to come take a shower. I'll be back....
When we eat daifuku-mochi, we become full and don’t feel hungry again soon, so it was at first called “daifuku-mochi (full stomach mochi 大腹餅)”. In time the letters of its name changed to lucky ones, “daifuku-mochi (big fortune mochi　大福餅)."

>Sakuramochi (桜餅 ) is thinly baked pink pancake made from wheat flour and shiratama-ko(glutinous rice powder), rolled over sweet azuki paste(餡）. It is wrapped in a picled sakura (cherry blossom) leaf which can be eaten together. Japanese eat Sakura-mochi on March 3, the day of “momo no sekku”, a festival for the young girls of their family to pray for their growing up with good health　and happiness.

Sakuramochi (桜餅 ) is a thin, baked pancake, pink in color and made from wheat flour and shiratama-ko(glutinous rice powder) rolled over sweet azuki paste(餡. It is wrapped in a pickled sakura (cherry blossom) leaf which is also edible. Japanese eat Sakura-mochi on March 3, the day of “momo no sekku”, a festival during which families pray that their young daughters will grow up with good health and happiness.

>Kashiwa-mochi　is rice-flour dumplings filled with an（餡）, folded into half and wrapped in a Kashiwa(oak 柏) leaf which can’t be eaten. It is a special sweet on May 5, the day of “tango no sekku”, a festival for the young boys of the family to pray for their success and health in the future.

Kashiwa-mochi　is a rice-flour dumpling filled with an（餡）, folded in half and wrapped in a Kashiwa (oak 柏) leaf which can not be eaten. It is a special sweet enjoyed on May 5, the day of “tango no sekku”, a festival for the young boys of the family to pray for their success and health in the future.

We usually say "fold in half" instead of "fold into half".

StPaul のコメント：
　　”　Sakuramochi (桜餅 )　”



I ate Sakuramochi last night with my son.

He sees us only several times a year.

We had dinner togfether talking each other.

He has his own business and is self-employed.

His business is giving lectures to college students and

company employess about how to use brains and many other things.



I think many silent Japanese smart.sm. users also like your talk.



Have a nice weekend,

earth rise san and anyaletta san.



St. Paul